Lately

I'm starting to realize I am a very emotional person who needs to take things less seriously.

Quite often I cry. I probably cry, on average at least twice a month. 

I don't know why this. I don't know if it's because these germs of self consciousness that are in my head get stuck in, work their magic and start yabbering away all my inside feelins. 

  you have no friends 

     no one wants to hang out with 

 your boyfriend doesn't wanna see you 

Wah wah wah. 

I'm trying to make myself stronger in this sense, I honestly am.
But when I get like this, one thing will set me off, and my throat closes up and I get short of breath and I can feel my eyes start to sting. 

I fucking hate it.

I don't swear often, but lately I have been swearing more.
What is going on?
Why do I have to be so weak?
Where am I going with this? I don't even know.

I'm waiting for my boyfriend, I'm waiting for something.
I'm wishing I had more friends to talk to.
To call up.
I wish I wasn't so scared to go to this party that I got invited to.
why why why why why.